Up Yours, Downstairs! A "Downton Abbey" Podcast
Just like "Downton Abbey," but with more feelings and swears! Bask in the glory of Dame Maggie Smith as hilarious Anglophiles Kelly Anneken & Tom Schneider explore the class struggle, cool Edwardian fashions, and the art of staring wistfully into the middle distance.

In their recap of 1993's The Secret Garden, Kelly & Tom are thrilled to find that it's a darn good movie, possibly thanks to executive producer Francis Ford Coppola, who is also Kelly's close personal friend. The film itself features Maggie Smith earning all 5 Maggie Smiths as Mrs. Medlock, Kate Maberly as the kid lit version of Scarlett O'Hara, the worst ghost ever, a new spin on The Odd Couple, Martha shopping at The Paradise, Claude the surprisingly violent pony, haircuts at the Gap, the dangers of swinging while pregnant, the world's oldest youngest man, Dickon's very attractive lamb-saving skills, and the potentially damaging idea that magic is real and can solve all problems. Kelly tries to sing the entirety of The Secret Garden musical, Tom trots out his Rashers impersonation, and everyone wants to see David Cronenberg's take on the Frances Hodgson Burnett classic.

Direct download: UYDEp91Final.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 3:10 AM

Kelly & Tom give their instant opinions on Downton Abbey S5E1.

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Direct download: DAInstantTakeS05E01.mp3
Category:Instant Take -- posted at: 1:53 AM

Kelly and Tom's Empire Exhibition takes them to Ireland this week, as they recap episodes 1 and 2 of Strumpet City despite not having the slightest idea what anybody is saying. Nonetheless, they pass the time by reminiscing about Rosario Dawson, critiquing local dentistry, unearthing a lost Johnny Cash song, exploring the popularity of Friends in Edwardian Ireland, and ranking Robin Hoods. Tom brushes up on his Russian, Kelly still misses Sylvia, and everybody is dismayed by a troubling lack of strumpets.

Direct download: UYDEp90Final.mp3
Category:Strumpet City -- posted at: 1:51 AM

Kelly and Tom are throwing an infidelity party following their recap of Shackleton, and everyone except Embeth Davidtz is invited! While they spend time with Tom's favorite actor on Tom's favorite continent, they chat about how many times people sleep with Kenneth Branagh, The Shaggy DA, what to do with an army of Welshies, drunk penguins, Frank Hurley as the Spike Jonez of Antarctica, Bovril, the original Pilates, The Colonel's misguided attempts at levity, and the importance of packing a toe bucket. As if that wasn't enough, Kelly invents an amazing new Tumblr, Tom regrets not buying a high school yearbook, and they finally figure out the only thing that could cause them to get divorced.

Direct download: UYDEp89Final.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 2:33 AM

Kelly & Tom continue their very exciting Empire Exhibition with an assist from comedian Kevin O'Shea. They dive deep into the Lake of Shining Waters with Anne of Green Gables, only coming up for the occasional swig of raspberry cordial and a reminiscence about childhood community theater. The film passes the Bechdick test with flying colors and also features Prissy Andrews as the Canadian Terminator, a hairdo puffier than Anne's sleeves, lots of ginger hate, Matthew's brown sugar obsession, a surprising detour to the Charlottesville Conference of 1864, and a cameo from Futurama's "Mom." Kelly wants to hear Josie Pye's side of things, Tom has totally forgotten about Downton Abbey, and Kevin suggests that the gables themselves might be of use to the Kaiser.

Direct download: UYDEp88Final.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 1:11 AM

For their recap of both the 1917 and 1995 versions of A Little Princess, Kelly and Tom are joined by the delightful Allison Mick. The trio pretty much rolls their eyes every time Sara Crewe opens her mouth, but they manage to have a great time talking Passions (aka the greatest soap opera of all time), Ser Davos "Call Me Dave" Seaworth, the Inception of podcasts, staggeringly weird father/daughter relationships, the ways in which we are all Minchins, the return of War Horse, Rusty Schwimmer, living in Taj Mahals, handicapped ghosts, and whether or not Douglas Fairbanks was gay. Kelly is a third cake feminist, Tom invents a drinking game, and Allison dubs Alfonso Cuaron the new king of comedy!

Direct download: UYDEp87Final.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 5:03 AM

Kelly & Tom welcome the Dowager Cousin Jackie back to UYDS for their coverage of Blackadder Goes Forth. The trio is surprised by its tonal similarity to Parade's End and spends a long time extolling the virtues of Orphan Black for no other reason than the fact that everyone should watch Orphan Black. Otherwise, they realize that Captain Flashheart is essentially Duffman from The Simpsons (RIP Rik Mayall), discuss the many sins of Chris Columbus, solicit accounts of raising pigeons from chicks, uncover Tony Robinson's Da Vinci Code connection, revel in the madness of General Melchett, fist-pump for Miranda Richardson, admit there's something about Bob, and wonder why there are only three people in the British army. All this, plus Kelly thinks Blackadder is a Capricorn, Tom makes a lot of Shakespearean interruptions, and Jackie refuses to acknowledge fruitcake as cake.

Direct download: UYDEp86Final.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:12 AM

While they find 1984's A Passage to India awfully racist (even for the 1960s), Kelly & Tom like it almost as much as a video of a baby singing Outkast's "Hey Ya."  It's a Star Wars heavy episode as they encourage Questlove to put some damn pajamas on, get haunted by the Caves of Marabar, marvel at the Eastwood-ness of Mr. Fielding, identify Roddy the Rodent's long-lost relative, wish to be as chill as Armitrao, declare "Mrs. Moore" to be the Spartacus of this movie, discuss the difficulty of impressing Zeus, discover what Beethoven was really talking about, and decry Judy Davis' lack of cuteness.  Kelly thinks the movie is like Hello, Dolly, Tom REALLY hates cucumber sandwiches, and they both ponder whether EM Forster would have been down with a "bromance."

Direct download: UYDEp85Final.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 6:13 PM

Kelly and Tom go back to the pensione in their coverage of the 2007 TV version of A Room With a View. They are pleased to report that Scully out-Linneys Linney, McG is delightful in her all-too-brief appearances, Cecil is finally less attractive than George, there is a startling connection between "The Fifth Element" and "Bram Stoker's Dracula," Lucy actually has some life behind her eyes, and they can't wait to play a round of Jam Tennis with Freddy to the strains of Beethoven's often-overlooked "I Want to Get Laid" symphony. Kelly is possessed by EM Forster's ghost, Tom explains Italy's werewolf effect, and they plan their podcast follow-up to UYDS.

Direct download: UYDEp84Final.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 1:28 AM

It's time to close the doors on S2 of Mr. Selfridge, but not without one last recap from Kelly & Tom. They wonder how many tricks Fat Thomas turned to pay for Agnes' engagement ring, hope Eyeliner will include more store windows next year, guess wildly at Mrs. Selfridge's never explained diagnosis, tell Mr. Grove to slow his ginger roll, speculate on the size of Loxley's lizard, celebrate "I'm Glad I'm Rich Day," give Ma Selfridge a new nickname, and order up some steamed Plunkett for lunch.  All this, plus Kelly thinks about "Circle of Friends" again, Tom provides Cultural Cliffs Notes, and everyone hopes the next series jumps to the end of WWI because we're all sick to death of the trenches! See everyone in two weeks for the kickoff of the UYDS Empire Exhibition!

Direct download: UYDEp83Final.mp3
Category:Mr. Selfridge -- posted at: 12:37 AM